Now we're getting somewhere, maybe.  I can honestly say that I recognize MOST of the buttons in Photoshop.  I can't honestly say that I know what they all do, but they are becoming familiar.

Right clicking in a layer brings up something called "blending options", mercy, those are fun!!  Simple text tools, shape tools, a little blending and top it off with a plastic filter and you can have your own imaginary credit card.  Try it, c'mon!!